What’s Your Sign? – Gilmore Girls

Ever since we’ve started learning about astrology, we find it necessary to test its reliability by guessing the signs of pretty much everyone we meet.  Sometimes we’ll even check our Facebook while in the room with someone to check and see if we’re right.  Or just flat out ask.  We’ve become eerily good at this – numerous aquaintances have been creepy surprised when asked, “Are you a Gemini?”  (Let’s face it.  They have some of the strongest vibes.)

For additional practice we like to guess at what the sign of the characters of our favorite TV shows and movies are.  This is usually pretty easy to do since writers often use zodiac archetypes to create strong characters.  So these are our guesses at the sun signs of the characters from Gilmore Girls with a little of our reasoning behind them.

Lorelei is an Aries poster child.  She is independent, sarcastic, rebellious, and ballsy.  She argues her point into the ground.  She is a very savvy businesswoman, and people follow her orders.  She is an only child.  She is very flirtacious and even a tad slutty.  An episode where Rory threw a birthday party for Lorelei also aired in April.

Rory is our little Virgo with her goody two shoes on.  She is very witty and a bookworm.  She loves to plan, worry, organize, alphabetize, and analyze.  She piles so much on herself that she always ends up doubting herself even though she completes every task perfectly.  She doesn’t even think about love unless someone who seems like a long term partner asks her to her face if she’d like to give it a go.

Emily is a megabitch – but she’s the classiest bitch you’ll ever meet, and for this reason we think she’s a Libra.  She likes to talk a lot, planning and designating jobs for everyone else to do.  She has impeccable taste and is charming enough for those not exposed to her hot-then-cold temperment to adore her.

Richard seems to be a Capricorn.  He is concerned with money, status, power, and authority – but not to the point that he tries to dominate others.  He does, however, have very high expectations for others – evident in how hard he pushes Rory sometimes, but he supports her when necessary, too.  This would also explain why he and Rory connect so well – they would both be earth signs.  He does not very often demonstrate his emotions or feelings, but prefers to support his family financially and enthusiastically encourages their academic and career endeavors.

Originally, DutchMistress was convinced that Luke had to be a Capricorn because he is practical and a grump.  However, it is revealed in the “Written in the Stars” episode (Season 5, Episode 90) that Luke is a Scorpio.  All of the sudden it made sense!  That would explain why he and Jess don’t get along!  That would explain why he’s so private about his life and hesitant to let anyone into his life.  He has a floundering love life – usually because he picks relationships that are doomed to fail from the beginning rather than any mistakes on his part.  His biggest mistake with his relationship with Lorelei ends up being his keeping April a secret.  He also has jealousy and anger issues – remember his physical altercations with Christopher?  And he’s sexy as hell.

Sookie must be a Cancer.  She loves to cook.  As soon as she knows anything is wrong with Lorelei, she asks how she can help or offers a dish.  She is known to let her emotions get the best of her.  She gets so pumped about being a mom, too!

Rory’s best friend must of course be a fellow earth sign.  Lane seems like a Taurus with her tomboyish personality and hobbies.  She often is disappointed by her love interests not recognizing her feminine qualities or by the lack of their masculine qualities.  She is a low key down to earth gal, but every now and then we’ll see spurts of that temper, especially when pushed around by her mom.

We think Paris must be a Sagittarius.  Does she ever shut up?  What is she so wound up about?  Does she ever sit down?  Does she even pace while she eats? Plus, she’s got the long hair AND an affair with her professor.  I mean, come on.

Dean is a little pussy Cancer bitch.  (Sorry, for all the Cancers that we just offended.  We love each and every sign; KelzFlame dates and lives with Cancers.  But, we think we can all admit that y’all do get butthurt a lot.)  He is a gentleman, sweet, thoughtful, respectful, but he lets the littlest things get to him and then he won’t let them go.  Like whenever he has insecurities because he’s jealous of Rory and Jess – instead of finding his balls and just being the better guy, what does he do?  He bitches.  Of course.  And that drives Rory away because she already has a vagina.  Dean would have been the perfect boyfriend – if only he had been more of a man.

Jess is the perfect Aquarius down to the leather jacket and that hair.  (Pause, think about the hair.  Deep breath, okay, go.)  He’s confident, cocky, sarcastic, rebellious, and literally does not give a fuck.  And no one can tell him what to do.  Then out of nowhere he will confess to having emotions.  In one episode he even tries to convince Rory to run away with him.  He is often misunderstood as a rebel because he doesn’t want to join in all the Star’s Hollow activities, but he is actually pretty low key and kind of a nerd.

Logan is our cocky Leo.  Rory meets him surrounded by friends, being a dick to people.  She confronts him about it, and he starts a debate with her.  This is a common Leo male flirting strategy.  They love to see women stirred up and will start an argument on purpose just for the satisfaction of watching her jaw lock.  (Rhett Bulter, Gone With the Wind)  He is born priveleged but also with a big heart.

We think Christopher is a Gemini.  He is savvy, youthful, and on the go.  He can charm anyone (fellow air sign Emily adores him). Although likable, he tends to be unreliable.  He dashes in, out, and around commitments (you know, babies, engagments, marriages, etc.).

Babette and Ms. Patty are the classic air sign gossips.  We believe they could both be Libras or both be Geminis (which might make more sense since often Geminis will be placed as a pair within an artistic work) or Babette’s a Gemini and Ms. Patty’s a Libra since she talks about all her lovers and is a dancer.  Come to think of it, that could even make her an Aquarius since that sing rules the calves/ankles.  It really doesn’t matter beause all air signs love to gossip!  Even Aquarians that might think themselves above spreading it, will definitely want to be in on the secret.

Let us know what you think about the guesses we’ve made or other characters we haven’t been able to figure out yet.  🙂